


Law and Disorderly Conduct

by Delightful_I_Am



Series: Drabble and Plot Bunnies [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Deputy Derek Hale, Gen, Morally Ambiguous Stiles Stilinski, Scott is a Good Friend, The Author Regrets Nothing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-21 18:23:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9561338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Delightful_I_Am/pseuds/Delightful_I_Am
Summary: "Are you sure this is legal?"Stiles looked up at Scott in disbelief, a diamond pick between his teeth and his torsion wrench still wedged tight in the lock in front of him. He flicked his eyes back and forth from Scott to the lock a few times before raising an eyebrow at his friend."Scotty, bud, pal, my dude. I amliterallyin the middle of breaking into a lawyer's office as we speak. In what universe is thatnotillegal?"





	

**Author's Note:**

> Oh hey look! I had some inspiration! I have exactly zero idea what I'm doing with this one, but hey, I finished an insane amount of work by my deadline and decided to reward myself with writing something to make me happy. You lot getting a new fic is just an added bonus :)
> 
> I would also like to take this opportunity to apologise for the title of this. I have a problem with puns. And sticking to a regular sleep schedule.

"Are you sure this is legal?"

Stiles looked up at Scott in disbelief, a diamond pick between his teeth and his torsion wrench still wedged tight in the lock in front of him. He flicked his eyes back and forth from Scott to the lock a few times before taking the diamond pick out of his mouth and raising an eyebrow at his friend.

"Scotty, bud, pal, my dude. I am _literally_ in the middle of breaking into a lawyer's office as we speak. In what universe is that _not_ illegal? And keep the light steady."

Scott grinned and punched Stiles lightly on the arm, redirecting the thin beam of light from his pocket-sized torch to shine more directly on the lock.

"I know that! I mean, obviously breaking in is illegal but..." Scott looked around and leaned in closer to Stiles, "We're doing the right thing... right?"

Stiles focused back on the lock for a minute, steadily working through the pins in the tumbler before pausing again and looking back up at Scott.

"We're absolutely doing the right thing. This guy has been stealing from his clients and deliberately dragging out cases to squeeze every last penny he can out of desperate people who have no other options, and we're gonna prove it." Stiles levelled a steady gaze at Scott, "The Sheriff's department will accept any evidence given anonymously, no questions asked. Trust me."

Scott hesitates for a few seconds before nodding once and stepping back, eyes trained on the quiet night street behind them. Conveniently, the streetlights on this block had all suffered an electrical fault the day before, and a sudden bout of mild food poisoning in the staff at the power station, thanks to an obscure herb being used on their weekly pizza order instead of oregano, meant there was a distinct lack of people who could have fixed the issue in a timely manner. Such a shame. Finally,  _finally_ the lock sprang open with a muted click and Stiles grinned, triumphant.

"We're in!" Stiles tucked his lock picks away and stood, turning to clap Scott on the shoulder. "Okay buddy, you know the drill. Three knocks and a chorus of 'we are the champions' if anybody's coming."

"Yeah yeah, Stiles, just make it quick, alright? I'll meet you at the side door, okay?"

Stiles grinned at Scott, a flash of white teeth in the darkness, and then he was slipping inside, the door shutting softly, locking it behind him. Scott sighed and leaned against the building, keeping one eye on the street.

***

Stiles ghosted through the dark building, the only light from the almost full moon outside. Bypassing the desks and cubicles in favour of heading to the office tucked away in the back corner, he ran a gloved fingertip along the wall as he hummed a tune under his breath. He was feeling a vindictive sort of pleasure at the knowledge that he was going to see this awful man put away for fraud; too many people had fallen victim to his schemes. Stiles reached the office of said douchecanoe, and quietly opened the door, he paused in the doorway to let his eyes adjust to the deeper blackness inside, before stepping through. He turned to close the door behind him and turn on the light so he could search the office and not have to worry about trying to balance a torch when he felt movement behind him. He tried to step away but found himself pushed up against the door, a firm pressure along his back holding him in place.

"Well well, what do we have here?" Stiles struggled against the man pinning him to the door, but his grip was too strong, his body so much bigger than Stiles' own lithe form. "I didn't expect to run into anybody in here at this time of night."

"Ugh get  _off_ me dude!" Stiles wriggled around, trying to jostle his captor into a looser grip. "You spend a lot of time sitting in dark offices in locked buildings in the middle of the night?"

The only response the guy made was to press Stiles harder against the door, sliding a leg in between Stiles' to crowd even closer against him. A hot breath tickled the back of Stiles' neck and he shuddered; stretching his arm out as best he could, he reached toward the light switch, hoping to blind the guy long enough to get free. He shut his eyes tight and flipped the switch, a flash of triumph going through him when he felt the guy flinch back in the sudden brightness. He used the momentary reprieve to spin around, biting back a curse when the guy was back on him before he'd fully managed to turn. He was now chest to chest with...

 _"Hale?!"_ Stiles stared wide-eyed at the man in front of him. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Stilinski." Hale grinned at him. "That's deputy Hale to you."

"Oh bite me,  _Derek._ " Stiles scowled at Derek and tried to shove against him to no avail. The man was built like an ox. "Are you following me now?"

"Hard to follow someone when I was here first." Derek shifted a little, his leg sliding back in between Stiles'. "What took you so long? I've been here for half an hour already, listening to you and your lookout and his moral dilemmas."

"The god damned lock was changed." Stiles lip pulled up in a sneer, "I had to break in the hard way. How did you get in then,  _de_ _puty?"_

Derek smiled at Stiles, and damned if the bastard wasn't pretty as fuck when he smiled. He leaned in, running his nose along Stiles' jaw, eliciting a sharp intake of breath from him before he chuckled and whispered into Stiles' ear.

"I used the spare key. It was hidden in the door frame."

"Oh for the love of-" Stiles shoved at Derek's chest again with shaky hands and this time he moved. About two inches, but hey, progress. " _Get off me,_ you overgrown guard dog!"

"Hmm... no... I'm quite happy right here." Oh for fuck's sake no one's voice should be able to sound that good.

Stiles groaned and dropped his head back with a thunk against the door, ignoring the fact that his hands were still splayed across Derek's chest. Hey, if the dude insisted on getting all up in Stiles' space, damn straight he was gonna take advantage of that. A soft noise from Derek had Stiles opening his eyes again to peer at him. Derek's eyes were locked onto Stiles' throat, and his lips were parted just slightly; Stiles slid his hands down to rest on Derek's waist and was rewarded with a soft gasp. He grinned and winked at Derek, fingers digging into his waist through the fabric of his uniform shirt; Stiles has had dreams about this particular uniform and the deputy wearing it.

"You're on thin ice, Stilinski." Derek's voice was rougher than it had been only moments ago, and didn't that just do things to Stiles' ego.

"Ohh, am I in trouble, deputy?" Stiles' grin turned to a smirk and he shifted his hips, leaning into Derek a little more. "Is that a nightstick in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

"God  _dammit_ Stiles."

Stiles laughed, taking note of the way Derek's eyes followed the movement of his throat. Derek leaned forward and ghosted his lips up Stiles' neck, inhaling deeply and tightening his grip on Stiles' hips; Stiles arched into the touch and was just about to suggest they continue this in a more horizontal position when a faint sound pierced through his fuzzy brain.

"Oh fuck!"

"Couldn't agree more." Derek replied, with a nip of his teeth on Stiles' jaw.

"Scott!"

"No, Derek."

"No not that! That's Scott's signal!" Stiles tried to pull Derek away from his throat, but the man was determined. "We've got company, Derek!"

"Oh fuck."

"There we go! Come on big guy, we gotta get out of here!" Stiles finally succeeded in unlatching Derek. He was about to open the door when he suddenly remembered what he'd come in here for. "Oh shit! The fucking files! I am  _not_ leaving here without them."

Derek reached over to the desk and grabbed a stack of manilla folders off of it and waved them in front of Stiles. "Got them."

"Derek Hale, you are a god among men." Stiles grabbed Derek by the collar and hauled him in for a hasty kiss. They were both a little breathless when they broke apart. "There's more where that came from if you can get me out of here, preferably not in handcuffs."

"Handcuffs really are more suited to the bedroom." Derek said with a wink.

"Oh my  _god!_ You can't just  _say_ things like that!" Stiles groaned and grabbed Derek's hand, hitting the light switch and plunging them both into darkness.

Momentarily blinded, Stiles fumbled for the handle with his free hand before he finally located it and opened the door. The soft moonlit main room was practically bright compared to the pitch dark of the office, and it was this that made it easy to navigate through the desks to the side door. The sounds of someone putting a key in the main door pulled Stiles up short, but Derek was there, squeezing his hand and giving him a gentle push to keep him moving. Praying that the alarm had been disabled from this door as well as the main door, Stiles unlocked it and eased it open, breathing a sigh of relief when no alarm started blaring. He pulled Derek through the door after him and they nearly tumbled into Scott, who was pacing along the short width of the alley they were in.

"Oh my god dude! What took you so lo-" Scott rushed forward, skidding to a halt when he saw Derek. "Wha- uh... heeey Derek... Fancy seeing you here."

"Not the time dude, we gotta go, like, ten minutes ago." That snapped Scott out of his stunned stupor.

"Right! Uh... right, okay. Follow me!"

***

Scott had taken off on his motorbike, taking a roundabout way back to his and Stiles' apartment, leaving Stiles to take Derek in his jeep; they were driving along a back road that would spit them out on the other side of town only a few blocks away from home. Stiles sighed and ran a hand through his hair, his other hand gripping the steering wheel tight enough to cause the leather to creak. Derek put a warm hand on his knee and squeezed lightly, and Stiles let out a heavy breath and relaxed. He flicked his eyes across to Derek.

"So, wanna tell me what one of Beacon County's finest was doing in a locked building at this time of night?"

"I was there to make sure adorable idiots didn't get themselves arrested for B&E." Derek sent a wry grin Stiles' way.

"I wouldn't have gotten arrested." Stiles scoffed. "I might have gotten a stern talking to. Perhaps a strongly worded letter. But certainly not arrested."

Derek hummed in dubious agreement and dropped the topic. They were silent for the remaining ten minute drive, and Derek's hand stayed on Stiles' knee the whole time and he absolutely refused to be affected by it. Really. He did. Finally they pulled into the building's parking garage and Stiles turned off the engine; they sat there for a moment or two before Stiles sighed.

"Come on then." He opened his door and moved to get out, Derek's hand slipping from his leg. "Let's go see what we nearly got busted to get."

Derek followed him into the building, standing silently beside him as they rode the elevator up to Stiles' floor, the files clutched in his hands. Stiles let them into his and Scott's apartment, dropping his keys in the bowl by the front door; Scott appeared in the doorway to the kitchen with a bowl of steaming food in each hand.

"I figured you'd be hungry." He lifted the bowls slightly higher. "I made stir fry."

"Best bro ever! Thanks dude." Stiles crossed the room and took the bowls out of Scott's hands, passing one over to Derek and moving into the lounge room to collapse on the couch.

***

"Jesus."

"You can say that again dude."

"I didn't think it was this bad."

"I'll get Isaac to drop it at the station tomorrow before anyone can notice it missing."

"Derek? You've been pretty quiet so far." Stiles looked over at Derek, a small frown on his face. "Anything to add?"

"If your father asks, I don't know you." He raised an eyebrow at them both. "Either of you."

Stiles snorted and Scott laughed like Derek had just told the funniest joke he'd ever heard. Derek stared at them a moment longer before hauling himself off the couch and walking down the hall to the bedrooms.

"Great." Stiles groaned. "He's going to be insufferable now."

"Go after him dude, I'll clean up in here."

"Thanks man. You're the best."

"I know."

Stiles got up and trailed after Derek, finding him sitting on Stiles' bed. He looked up when Stiles leaned on the door frame, just watching him.

"What?"

"Have I ever told you how good you look in that uniform?" Stiles leered at Derek.

"Frequently. And never in an appropriate situation."

"Well where would the fun be in being _appropriate_?" Stiles grimaced, like the word had personally offended him. He walked over to Derek and stepped in between his legs, running his hands through Derek's hair.

"How did you manage to get the entire block's streetlights out?"

"What makes you think I had anything to do with that?" Stiles turned innocent eyes to Derek, which were completely ineffectual. Stiles sighed. "Fine. I used Danny."

"Using department resources to further your criminal aspirations?" Derek tsked at him. "What would your father think?"

"My father won't think anything, because as far as he's concerned, my partner and I went home at the end of our shifts tonight." He winked at Derek. "And don't worry, if anyone asks, you were with me the whole night,  _deputy."_

Derek huffed a laugh and pulled Stiles in closer, leaning his head on Stiles' stomach. Stiles leaned into the embrace and sighed, content.

"Come on big guy. Bed time. We've both gotta be at the station bright and early. I hear there's gonna be some new evidence piling up against one of our suspects."

Stiles pulled away from Derek just long enough for them both to get undressed, then he pushed Derek onto the bed, climbing in after him and settling in curled up against Derek's chest. They fell asleep quickly and were absolutely not late to work in the morning,they just were invisible for the first hour of their shifts. Yeah right. Just like Stiles was absolutely _not_ breaking into a lawyer's office to steal files last night _dad,_   _oh my god why would you think that?_

**Author's Note:**

> I got the idea from a list of sentence starters [here.](https://sterekseason.tumblr.com/post/156735827812/random-sentence-starters)  
> As always, comments and kudos are my lifeblood, because lord knows I don't get paid enough to live in the manner to which I've become accustomed and i have to get my joy _somehow._


End file.
